It appears that today is the one-year anniversary of my last post. I think that means Attack of the Monkey is on an official hiatus. Updates on my current projects will now be available at SheridanMacAuley.com. Thanks for your continued support!

Though paper-thin, a new nano-material is blacker than black. It is, in fact, 30 times darker than government-issue black, absorbing over 99.9% of all light that comes its way. Apparently the effect can be dizzying to the onlooker; probably because, although the scientists have yet to admit it, it also absorbs neural energy, transferring it to other dimensions where previously unidentified lifeforms eat your positive thoughts.

The new black is darker and more soul-sucking than previously existing shades by several standard deviations. (This image adapted from The Washington Post.)

Images from Google Earth are being used by volunteers in the search for adventurer Steve Fossett. The up-to-date images, released by Google Earth, allow users to identify potential crash sites from personal computers and report their findings to rescue crews in Nevada.

The project is being coordinated by Amazon’s “artificial artificial intelligence” site called the Mechanical Turk, where people are paid to do all kinds of tasks that computers have not yet mastered, such as transcribing text or identifying items in an image.

The search for Fossett is a volunteer effort, but it should be great publicity for Mechanical Turk. I checked out the site and found myself looking for a quick way to make a buck - literally. For $1 I could do some internet research to identify the artist of a few oil paintings (which proved impossible in one minute of googling, the amount of time I decided was my maximum effort for an unearned dollar). I could also visit a stained glass shop and write a 250+ word article about it, which seemed like it might be fun in a geeky scavenger hunt sort of way. The best part is that you can sign in with your Amazon account (something most of us have already been suckered into starting) and earn some pennies anytime you want.

Sometime when I’m bored, perhaps I’ll find an internet deal for a bargain site for 5 cents, or provide a text transcript of a video for 12 cents. For now, it looks like I should be spending my free time blogging.

Or maybe I can pay someone 50 cents per post to write my blog for me…?

Steve Fossett, millionaire aviation golden boy, left, Sir Richard Branson, Virgin Atlantic billionaire bad boy on the right - two of the least likely people to be found earning money on the Mechanical Turk.

Would you like to start with a beverage? New studies shed light on what fluids you may or may not want to imbibe next time you’re out.

• Drinking soda - regular or diet - on a regular basis is linked to an increased risk of metabolic syndrome. Metabolic syndrome is a group of disorders that elevate one’s risk to health problems such as heart disease and diabetes. Against my better judgement, I’m going to pretend that Sugar-Free Red Bull doesn’t count as soda.
• Drinking malt liquor may be linked to marijuana use. But this doesn’t answer the age-old question, OE 800 or Colt 45?
• Drinking coffee and exercising may prevent skin cancer. Unfortunately for me, this only works with moderate amounts of caffeine, and they haven’t still come up with Liquid Exercise (although I’m sure someone is working on it, so I italicize to prevent the need for future updating).
• Drinking orange juice is good for diabetics, despite its high sugar content. The flavonoids contained in O.J. cancel out the oxidative damage caused by the excess sugar. Unfortunately, orange juice still has plenty of calories, so make sure it’s part of a balanced diet, kids.
• Drinking Ovaltine is good for you. Okay, that’s not science news. I was just excited because I finally solved my secret decoder ring.

Does that help? Does this?

A new study has found that not all alcoholics are alike, and has identified five subtypes of alcoholics. I’m not sure how they defined an alcoholic in the survey, but the researchers say that many alcoholics are young adults, and that 20 percent of alcoholics are functional and well-educated with good incomes. I would call these two groups 1) college students, and 2) social adults. But then, I’m Irish.

So, can you find five friends in this list?

• Young Adult subtype: 31.5 percent of U.S. alcoholics. Young adult drinkers, with relatively low rates of co-occurring substance abuse and other mental disorders, a low rate of family alcoholism, and who rarely seek any kind of help for their drinking.
• Young Antisocial subtype: 21 percent of U.S. alcoholics. Tend to be in their mid-twenties, had early onset of regular drinking, and alcohol problems. More than half come from families with alcoholism, and about half have a psychiatric diagnosis of Antisocial Personality Disorder. Many have major depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety problems. More than 75 percent smoked cigarettes and marijuana, and many also had cocaine and opiate addictions. More than one-third of these alcoholics seek help for their drinking.
• Functional subtype: 19.5 percent of U.S. alcoholics. Typically middle-aged, well-educated, with stable jobs and families. About one-third have a multigenerational family history of alcoholism, about one-quarter had major depressive illness sometime in their lives, and nearly 50 percent were smokers.
• Intermediate Familial subtype: 19 percent of U.S. alcoholics. Middle-aged, with about 50 percent from families with multigenerational alcoholism. Almost half have had clinical depression, and 20 percent have had bipolar disorder. Most of these individuals smoked cigarettes, and nearly one in five had problems with cocaine and marijuana use. Only 25 percent ever sought treatment for their problem drinking.
• Chronic Severe subtype: 9 percent of U.S. alcoholics. Comprised mostly of middle-aged individuals who had early onset of drinking and alcohol problems, with high rates of Antisocial Personality Disorder and criminality. Almost 80 percent come from families with multigenerational alcoholism. They have the highest rates of other psychiatric disorders including depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety disorders as well as high rates of smoking, and marijuana, cocaine, and opiate dependence. Two-thirds of these alcoholics seek help for their drinking problems, making them the most prevalent type of alcoholic in treatment.

Not to make light of alcoholism, but this reminded me of yet another T-shirt:

Science Idol is an editorial cartoon contest for cartoons about science and politics sponsored by the Union of Concerned Scientists. Check out the 12 finalists and vote here (voting closes on July 23, 2007).

Hey blogsters! As you can see by the formula above, Attack of the Monkey is changing format ever so slightly. This is due to my increased project workload. What are these projects, you ask? Well, I’m writing a book, painting, starting an online store, and planning a move. (I’ll keep you posted on the progress of these projects!) So, rather than abandon Attack of the Monkey, as has been the trend of late, I’ve decided to post more often! You ask, how could this possibly work? I ask the same thing myself. But, as you see above, I’ll be posting shorter posts. This makes sense because I often ramble on for far too long. So, I’m hoping that writing less will allow me to post more often. We’ll see how it works!

In the meantime, thanks for putting up with me!

The FDA has issued a recall for popular snack food Veggie Bootie, part of the line of Pirate’s Booty snack foods made by Robert’s American Gourmet. The products may contain Salmonella, which can cause diARRRRhea, also known to pirates as Shiver Me Britches. The company is assuring customers that its other products are safe, which is great for me, because I just ate some Pirate’s Cannon Balls the other day, and they blew a bung hole in me mind.

In other news, I’m thinking of buying this awesome T-shirt.

Several prominent scientists announced the Encyclopedia of Life project today. If successful, the online encyclopedia will be the comprehensive source for information about each of Earth’s 1.8 million (and counting) known species. If it fails, the site will fade into oblivion as just another feel-good project - rich in resources, but lacking in real-world value.

The directors of the project seem to be making every attempt to avert failure. There are big names involved: E.O. Wilson as the Honorary Chair, Harvard and the Smithsonian, to name a few. There is funding from the MacArthur and Sloan Foundations. And with the announcement of the site comes a You Tube video (below), replete with snappy graphics and glimpses of the smoothly navigable menus characteristic of Web 2.0.

But amidst the fanfare lurk glaring pitfalls. Although some information may be accessible as early as 2008, the site is not expected to be complete for 10 years. The differences between the Encyclopedia of Life and Wikipedia (or “The Encyclopedia of Everything,” as many envision it) are unclear. And, irkingly, the emphasis will initially be on animals, plants and fungi, excluding microorganisms until a later date, and contradicting the “comprehensive guide to living things” idea.

Altogether, however, the encyclopedia is a noble idea that appears well-executed. As long as the scientists, the scientific communicators, the digital archivists, and the general public can cooperate, it just might be what we need to catalog our dying biosphere before it’s (gulp) just a sphere.

Video: You Tube + Web 2.0 + Polar Bears = The Encyclopedia of Life’s recipe for media success.

Scientists have found that the addition of artificial snot enhances the performance of electronic noses. Although they sound futuristic, electronic noses are used for many purposes, including monitoring for spoiled beverages at bottling plants, and detection of pollutants inside space craft. Nasal mucus (aka snot) enhances the sense of smell in our old-school, natural noses by dissolving and separating scent molecules for delivery to scent receptors. Using artificial polymers that mimic actual snot, the researchers were able to distinguish between scents that were previously difficult using the artificial nose, such as milk and cream. What’s next in the artificial body fluid field? Would artificial earwax enhance hearing with fake ears? Could artificial tears make robots, er, sadder? Maybe we should just stick with the snot for now.

Electronic Nose vs. Real Nose Dr. Julian Gardner sniffs out the competition: An electronic nose with artificial snot. A worthy rival, but nothing a few swift sneezes can’t handle.