A new study has found that not all alcoholics are alike, and has identified five subtypes of alcoholics. I’m not sure how they defined an alcoholic in the survey, but the researchers say that many alcoholics are young adults, and that 20 percent of alcoholics are functional and well-educated with good incomes. I would call these two groups 1) college students, and 2) social adults. But then, I’m Irish.

So, can you find five friends in this list?

• Young Adult subtype: 31.5 percent of U.S. alcoholics. Young adult drinkers, with relatively low rates of co-occurring substance abuse and other mental disorders, a low rate of family alcoholism, and who rarely seek any kind of help for their drinking.
• Young Antisocial subtype: 21 percent of U.S. alcoholics. Tend to be in their mid-twenties, had early onset of regular drinking, and alcohol problems. More than half come from families with alcoholism, and about half have a psychiatric diagnosis of Antisocial Personality Disorder. Many have major depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety problems. More than 75 percent smoked cigarettes and marijuana, and many also had cocaine and opiate addictions. More than one-third of these alcoholics seek help for their drinking.
• Functional subtype: 19.5 percent of U.S. alcoholics. Typically middle-aged, well-educated, with stable jobs and families. About one-third have a multigenerational family history of alcoholism, about one-quarter had major depressive illness sometime in their lives, and nearly 50 percent were smokers.
• Intermediate Familial subtype: 19 percent of U.S. alcoholics. Middle-aged, with about 50 percent from families with multigenerational alcoholism. Almost half have had clinical depression, and 20 percent have had bipolar disorder. Most of these individuals smoked cigarettes, and nearly one in five had problems with cocaine and marijuana use. Only 25 percent ever sought treatment for their problem drinking.
• Chronic Severe subtype: 9 percent of U.S. alcoholics. Comprised mostly of middle-aged individuals who had early onset of drinking and alcohol problems, with high rates of Antisocial Personality Disorder and criminality. Almost 80 percent come from families with multigenerational alcoholism. They have the highest rates of other psychiatric disorders including depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety disorders as well as high rates of smoking, and marijuana, cocaine, and opiate dependence. Two-thirds of these alcoholics seek help for their drinking problems, making them the most prevalent type of alcoholic in treatment.

Not to make light of alcoholism, but this reminded me of yet another T-shirt:

Science Idol is an editorial cartoon contest for cartoons about science and politics sponsored by the Union of Concerned Scientists. Check out the 12 finalists and vote here (voting closes on July 23, 2007).

Hey blogsters! As you can see by the formula above, Attack of the Monkey is changing format ever so slightly. This is due to my increased project workload. What are these projects, you ask? Well, I’m writing a book, painting, starting an online store, and planning a move. (I’ll keep you posted on the progress of these projects!) So, rather than abandon Attack of the Monkey, as has been the trend of late, I’ve decided to post more often! You ask, how could this possibly work? I ask the same thing myself. But, as you see above, I’ll be posting shorter posts. This makes sense because I often ramble on for far too long. So, I’m hoping that writing less will allow me to post more often. We’ll see how it works!

In the meantime, thanks for putting up with me!

The FDA has issued a recall for popular snack food Veggie Bootie, part of the line of Pirate’s Booty snack foods made by Robert’s American Gourmet. The products may contain Salmonella, which can cause diARRRRhea, also known to pirates as Shiver Me Britches. The company is assuring customers that its other products are safe, which is great for me, because I just ate some Pirate’s Cannon Balls the other day, and they blew a bung hole in me mind.

In other news, I’m thinking of buying this awesome T-shirt.