Would you like to start with a beverage? New studies shed light on what fluids you may or may not want to imbibe next time you’re out.

• Drinking soda - regular or diet - on a regular basis is linked to an increased risk of metabolic syndrome. Metabolic syndrome is a group of disorders that elevate one’s risk to health problems such as heart disease and diabetes. Against my better judgement, I’m going to pretend that Sugar-Free Red Bull doesn’t count as soda.
• Drinking malt liquor may be linked to marijuana use. But this doesn’t answer the age-old question, OE 800 or Colt 45?
• Drinking coffee and exercising may prevent skin cancer. Unfortunately for me, this only works with moderate amounts of caffeine, and they haven’t still come up with Liquid Exercise (although I’m sure someone is working on it, so I italicize to prevent the need for future updating).
• Drinking orange juice is good for diabetics, despite its high sugar content. The flavonoids contained in O.J. cancel out the oxidative damage caused by the excess sugar. Unfortunately, orange juice still has plenty of calories, so make sure it’s part of a balanced diet, kids.
• Drinking Ovaltine is good for you. Okay, that’s not science news. I was just excited because I finally solved my secret decoder ring.

Does that help? Does this?