Several prominent scientists announced the Encyclopedia of Life project today. If successful, the online encyclopedia will be the comprehensive source for information about each of Earth’s 1.8 million (and counting) known species. If it fails, the site will fade into oblivion as just another feel-good project - rich in resources, but lacking in real-world value.

The directors of the project seem to be making every attempt to avert failure. There are big names involved: E.O. Wilson as the Honorary Chair, Harvard and the Smithsonian, to name a few. There is funding from the MacArthur and Sloan Foundations. And with the announcement of the site comes a You Tube video (below), replete with snappy graphics and glimpses of the smoothly navigable menus characteristic of Web 2.0.

But amidst the fanfare lurk glaring pitfalls. Although some information may be accessible as early as 2008, the site is not expected to be complete for 10 years. The differences between the Encyclopedia of Life and Wikipedia (or “The Encyclopedia of Everything,” as many envision it) are unclear. And, irkingly, the emphasis will initially be on animals, plants and fungi, excluding microorganisms until a later date, and contradicting the “comprehensive guide to living things” idea.

Altogether, however, the encyclopedia is a noble idea that appears well-executed. As long as the scientists, the scientific communicators, the digital archivists, and the general public can cooperate, it just might be what we need to catalog our dying biosphere before it’s (gulp) just a sphere.

Video: You Tube + Web 2.0 + Polar Bears = The Encyclopedia of Life’s recipe for media success.

Here are the top 5 stories that have me sitting in a bunker wearing an aluminum foil hat this week. Thank god for cable internet!

5. An enormous and bizarre hexagon has been spotted hovering over Saturn’s surface. Scientists are baffled. I’ll wager that it’s an environmentally-engineered biodome for Saturners who survived the prehistoric destruction of the planet’s ecosystem. Inside, they are developing spacecraft and weapons which they will use to steal our planet and suck the living souls from our flesh.
4. Pulses of yellow light have been shown to reversibly “silence” brain cells. Scientists hope that this technology can be used to treat diseases such as epilepsy and Parkinson’s disease, which are caused by excess neural activity. I don’t buy this whole “yellow light for fighting disease” story. It seems apparent to me that they are developing mind-controlling yellow light laser guns to turn us into zombie cavalry to send to Saturn to annihilate those soul-sucking aliens.
3. Using new models, British scientists have found that among the countries most at risk for asteroid impacts are China, the U.S. and Japan. Modelling asteroid impact, or engineering British global domination? Why else would they study the precise human and economic impacts of an “asteroid” (read: nuclear missile) impact?
2. An extremely rare, long-whiskered owl was spotted in the wild for the first time in Peru. The small, strange-looking owl was unknown until 1978 and had previously only been found caught in nets that had been left out at night. Or could it be a genetically-engineered biobot spy, designed to infiltrate conservation circles, converting unsuspecting environmentalists into avid and wasteful consumers?
1. A new antidepression initiative in England will make computer-based therapy available to the entire population starting in April 2007. Or have the computers finally convinced the health officials that this is a good idea? If I were a computer (clearly bent on global domination), I wouldn’t be trying to cheer these mildly depressed people up. I would be using my supercomputer powers to manipulate the humans to do my bidding by building a massive titanium robot body which I could remotely control to rule London by force. Wouldn’t you?

Okay, they’re chimpanzees. But holy crap! The chimps are making their own deadly weapons. They’ve been seen making spears out of sticks and using them to hunt small mammals. This is the first known case of a non-human crafting a deadly weapon. And I’d say it’s only a matter of time before they assemble a chimp army, conquer the leaders of our great nations, and unite the people of our planet in human slavery. I say we should initiate a preemptive strike on the evil chimp would-be overlords. Will you join the “Nuke the Chimps” campaign? I assure you, we will have cool T-shirts.

The first ever video of a giant squid was released in December. Unfortunately, the squid was killed while being hauled aboard the Japanese research vessel that captured it. Researchers have been unable to find live giant squid until recently and have relied on partially decomposed specimens that have washed ashore or have been found in the stomachs of whales and sharks. The squid in the video is only 24 feet long, which is small compared to the length of the longest giant squid on record (60 feet!). While it’s sad that the squid in the video died, new estimates show that the species is probably not in danger. They’re a primary food source for sperm whales, and based on estimates of the sperm whale population, there are probably at least 200,000 giant squids. If giant squid are so big, why can’t we find them? One theory is that they’re camera shy. My theory is that they’re too too big-headed to want to slum on home videos… Or is that big-mantled?

On a sadder note, the Baiji river dolphin was declared functionally extinct in December. I became a fan of the Baiji via Douglas Adams‘ 1990 naturalist masterpiece Last Chance to See, where Adams and zoologist Mark Carwardine document their journey to visit highly endangered species around the world. Douglas Adams visited the polluted Yangtze River, the home of the Baiji, and discussed the species which was threatened not only by pollution, but due to hunting, fishing, collisions with boats, habitat loss, and severe depression. (Okay, I’m just guessing about that last one.) In Last Chance to See, Douglas Adams wrote, “The great thing about being the only species that makes a distinction between right and wrong, is that we can make up the rules for ourselves as we go along.” So, RIP, Baiji friends - someday we’ll either make better choices, or join you on the extinct list.

And, from things that have ended to things that might never existed, I wonder, what do you know about the Loch Ness monster? You might know that Nessie is rumored to be a plesiosaur. In December, a well-preserved fossil of a juvenile plesiosaur was uncovered in Antarctica. While a believable theory is that a massive volcanic eruption may have enabled the exceptional preservation of the skeleton, nine out of ten conspiracy theorists agree that it must be a hoax. Could a young Loch Ness plesiosaur have died and been buried to cover up the existence of a herd of Nessies in Scotland? Could this all have to do with a plot to allow dinosaurs to once more inherit the earth after the impending nuclear holocaust? Probably not, but it would make a pretty awesome B-movie. (Directors, please contact me for more exciting plot details!)

And a personal note: I apologize that December wasn’t a very active month for this blog. The holidays have been awesome, and now I’m looking forward to some great new stuff here at Attack of the Monkey in 2007! I hope you can come back for lots more scienterrific posts!

It turns out there’s a reason for that instant repulsion you get when you open a tub of moldy leftovers from the back of your fridge. New research suggests that it’s a message from the microbes that says, “this food’s taken”. This interpretation redefines the role of microorganisms in food chains. Rather than waiting around for leftovers from top predators, microorganisms claim foods by making them unpalatable to higher organisms - and they do it by producing stinky odors and nasty flavors. This is pretty effective unless you’re a fan of smelly cheeses, which are generally stinky as a result of microbial fermentation during the aging process. So, if you’re repulsed by Limburger like me, you can leave it to the microbes and be satisfied by reminding yourself that those nasty odors are produced to prevent you from eating it… Just keep it to yourself at cocktail parties - you never know which of your friends are into the strong stuff.

Newly discovered bacteria are thriving two miles underground in groundwater which has been cut off from the surface for millions of years. Rather than using chemical energy produced at some point by photosynthesis, the bacteria make a living completely off of energy produced by radioactive decay - a first for any known form of life. This demonstrates another barrier broken by life on Earth and has huge implications regarding the possibility of life on other planets. The extended existence of these bacteria in an ecosystem completely isolated from, and presumably unaffected by, the surface of the planet suggests that life could exist on a planet where the surface has long been devoid of life. This gives new hope to those who hope to find signs of life on Mars. Let’s just not get too optimistic when we tear apart other worlds in search of anything that so much as looks like a cell. So far, finding life everywhere we look seems only to be the rule on Earth.

A mere six months after Steve Irwin was killed by a stingray, new reports surfaced today that a Florida man was stabbed in the chest by a stingray that jumped aboard his boat. What is going on here? Clearly the stingrays are fighting back. It was reported that after Steve Irwin’s death, mutilated stingrays were found on Australia beaches - apparently killed in retribution for the accidental death of Steve Irwin. Well, I’m afraid the word is out, and it’s on. Shark Attack: Humans vs. Stingrays. Who will survive? Stay tuned for the next gruesome encounter.

We’ll miss you, Steve Irwin. Your enthusiasm about the environment was inspirational to the world. Although I am generally not supportive of selling environmentalism through charismatic megafauna, I recognize that it can work. And you were pretty much the best at it. So, rest in peace, and I hope that one of your colleagues is able to avenge your death by hunting down that sting ray, Steve Zissou style.

Nearly half of all Americans believe that humans and dinosaurs co-existed. Or rather, that “cavemen had to protect themselves from marauding dinosaurs”. So, it caught my eye when I read new research showing that raptors may have preyed on early man. Unfortunately for about 45% of Americans, this means raptors, the birds, and not the dinosaurs. I know, America, Jurassic Park was really convincing. And the new King Kong. I mean, it didn’t even make sense to have dinosaurs on that island, and yet, there they were, plain and realistic as day. But if we did co-exist at the same time as dinosaurs, do you really think we could have made it this far? I mean, the raptors in Jurassic Park could open electric doors and communicate by raptor-style Morse code. All we can do is make the same movie over and over again (e.g. the new King Kong, Jurassic Park II, III and IV…), and that’s after an extra 65 million years of evolution.

I recently saw a talk by Andrew E. Dessler, author of The Science and Politics of Global Climate Change. Dessler discusses the arguments for and against taking actions to reduce green house gas emissions. He provides evidence showing that most people who value their credibility will not argue against the proven facts that the earth is warming and that some of the change is human-induced. Instead they will argue that, given the uncertainty of the situation, the nation cannot reasonably take actions to prevent emissions.

One of the best arguments cites The One Percent Doctrine, a book by Ron Suskind named for Dick Cheney’s declaration that “We have to deal with this new type of threat in a way we haven’t yet defined. . . . With a low-probability, high-impact event like this . . . If there’s a one percent chance that Pakistani scientists are helping al Qaeda build or develop a nuclear weapon, we have to treat it as a certainty in terms of our response.” Therefore, if there is a one-percent chance of a nuclear attack, we should take action.

So, what are the chances that the global climate is warming? The chances (discussed by Dessler) are far greater, perhaps 20 to 50 percent. The dangers of global warming have been shown: wildfires, droughts, extreme weather events. Why, then, is the US government not taking action to prevent these disasters?

One problem is that the public doesn’t feel a sense of urgency to prevent global warming. People are more concerned with the immediate dangers of other threats, such as avian flu or terrorism. Someone suggested that the dead polar bear should be the mascot to get the public thinking about the dangers of global warming. It seems that Greenpeace has. Perhaps it would be more effective if it went something like this:

This polar bear died from:
a) terrorism 
b) avian flu 
c) gay marriage 
d) flag burning 
e) global warming 

It might be more accurate to say that the polar bear died from poor leadership by our short-sighted politicians.