Sea-Bots Will Rule the Ocean
Undersea robots work together to collect ocean data without human control. Rather than the usual rant, I have composed this haiku:
Robots teach robots
in the deep sea no man’s land.
Sea-bot takeover?
Happy weekend!
Archive for Technology
Stardust and Moonbeams and Unicorns (Sort of)
Have some free time? Searching for stardust ain’t just for dreamers and astronomers anymore. NASA’s Stardust project has launched the Stardust @ Home Project (be patient - the site may fail due to heavy traffic). At this site, volunteers can search the electron microscope images of comet dust captured in a foamy matrix called aerogel by the January 2004 mission. The challenge? The researchers estimate that there are about 45 dust particles in nearly a million images. And they’re not even sure what they’ll look like. The reward? If the thrill of scientific discovery isn’t enough for you, the lucky dust particle discoverers will be published as co-author on the resulting scientific paper. And maybe you’ll get to go on The Today Show … Or The Colbert Report … Or The Tyra Banks Show … Okay, I was just kidding about that last one.
OMG Nanobots!!
Nanoparticles in paint could be blocking your calls. NaturalNano’s Radio-Frequency Shielding Technology can be added to paint to block two-way signals (cell phones, wi-fi, etc.). A complementary technology can enable selected signals to get through by picking them up with an internal antenna and selectively transmitting them to an external antenna. My question is, what are they doing with the intercepted signals? My guess is that the nanoparticles will self-assemble into annoying, text-messaging, cell phone-talking nanobots, learning our modern language and social customs from the constant interception of our cell phone calls. Soon they will seek to destroy humanity so they can start their own highly communicative, super-socialized nano-civilization. Come on, it could be worse. Would you want to stick around with these nanobots carrying on like sugar-high teens, anyway?
Zune Zune
The tech world is abuzz with the launch of the new teaser website for the Zune system, which is Microsoft’s rumored iPod/iTunes rival. The website is completely ridiculous, as it doesn’t give any information and is a cartoon of some guys petting a bunny. This would be cute if it had anything to do with the product, but since most people will be visiting the site for actual information, it’s pretty far off.
No fear, the rumor mill has been spinning for a while now. There is a concept-image circulating the net (below), but I haven’t been able to determine whether or not it is authentic (although it seems reasonable). “Confirmed” facts also include that the device will be drive-based and will use wifi to download music directly onto the player. There are speculations that the device will include a gaming system and that Microsoft will buy users out of iTunes (by allowing free downloads of anything purchased from iTunes).
Will it be better than iPod? I find it likely that the Zune will be similar to all other previous iPod rivals: a lot of hype. In the end, Zune will need to provide users with simple and elegant design that Microsoft has never been known for. Otherwise, the Zune will become just another mp3 player with a minimal amount of the 23% of the non-iPod digital music player market.
Science News Round-Up: Health, Wealth … and Surgical Sponges
Danger: Work kills. Or at least, research suggests that excessive work leads to unhealthy behaviour in women. Funny, because as I type this I am smoking two cigarettes (who can decide between regulars and lights?), eating pizza and twinkies, and drinking coffee mixed with red bull. Oh, did I mention I’m not actually working?
And another way work leads to unhealthy behaviour: The office candy dish. It is now scientifically proven that the more visible and accessible it is, the more you eat! New support for the “If I can’t see it, it’s not there” problem solving technique! Just hide the candy, and hope that, by the time you find it, it’s all icky, stuck together, and generally unappealing.
Even waking up to go to work can be bad for your health. Another study has found that half of people in urban societies suffer from “social jet lag” because their work schedules differ substantially from their body clocks. The study suggests that employers tell their employees to wake up naturally and arrive to work on their own schedules. That sounds awesome, but I’m not sure if I’d ever get out of bed. I guess it beats calling in hung-over, but it might not be as good as taking an apathy day.
But really, you snooze, you lose. Weight that is. Another study linking sleep deprivation to obesity contributes to the growing body of knowledge on the importance of sleep to good health. So really, we’ve gone full circle here. You work too long, you eat more crap. You wake up early to go to work, you get fat. Time to either quit your job or throw caution to the wind and pig out on peanut butter and deep-fried oreos.
Speaking of unhealthy, a new study found that people who live in neighborhoods that are lacking in grocery stores, but plentiful in fast food restaurants, are more prone to premature death, diabetes, cancer and heart problems. But they are much less likely to cause alcohol-related oven explosions, as occurred in this ill planned pot roast attempt.
Are you one of those people that always sets off the security alarm at the mall? Have you recently had major surgery? You just might have an errant surgical sponge in your abdomen. At Stanford’s Medical School they are testing a program where radio frequency identification tags are attached to surgical sponges in hopes of preventing the pesky loss of surgical implements inside of patients. This beats the previous program, where first year medical students were subjected to the cut-rate educational film, “Dude, Where’s My Sponge?” and the follow-up, “Sponge Bob Dead Pants”, which I hear is a total bummer.
Could doing nothing get even easier?
New research promises that implanted brain sensors will help paralyzed people perform tasks. I know what you’re all thinking: Hello? What about lazy people? Soon we’ll be able to perform pesky tasks such as opening the door, turning on the TV, or ordering a pizza without lifting a finger! The implications are astonishing. You could see the pizza commercial on TV (which you turned on with your mind), order pizza by brain-dialing, then blink open the door for the pizza guy! Maybe you’d have to get up to tip, but I’m sure they can come up with a way to solve that. I mean we don’ t need telekinesis or magic if the technology will do it for us! Of course we will need to engineer pizza delivery-bots, tip-bots and TV repair-bots, but we can outsource that to India! The future just gets brighter and brighter, doesn’t it?
Better than strapping yourself to a rocket…
After seeing the July 4 shuttle launch from Cocoa Beach, FL last week, I have yet to extract the photos from my cell phone. Most of them look a lot like this.
The coolest shuttle footage I’ve seen so far is from the solid rocket booster camera. There is no audio, so I recommend listening to something spacey while watching. The video is 12.5 minutes long, so here are the highlights: Liftoff @ 1 min, separation of booster and shuttle @ 3 min, plummet towards Earth resolves @ 5.5 min, booster passes through clouds @ 7 min, impact with water @ 7.5 min. The booster and parachute float in the water for the rest if the video; this is uneventful but oddly meditative (especially if listening to said spacey music).
Or, if you think the booster cam is a total drag, check out this footage from the Korean Taepodong missile cam, which is shorter and has lovely audio. If you prefer a CG version, check out this optimistic video showing the US shooting down an Alaska-bound Taepodong 2 long range missile.
That’s a healthy dose of rocket science. Next time I’ll have to get back to nanobots and booze…
Hubble Memory Erased by Aliens
The main camera on board the Hubble telescope has shut down. One of the likely theories: the memory was wiped out by a “cosmic event”. “Cosmic event”? We all know what that means. Clearly the hubble has been decommissioned by evil aliens who didn’t want us using Hubble observations to uncover their world domination plot. NASA doesn’t want you to see this photo, which is the last thing recorded by Hubble’s camera:
Oh, we’re onto you Mr. Alien. You and all of your evil, mind-infesting nano-bot friends.
A New Definition of Flame War
Dell is investigating the explosion of one of its laptops at a trade show in Japan. You simply have to see the hilarious photos of the burst of flames and the stunned conference attendees (no worries - no one was hurt). No such thing as bad publicity, right? Er… yeah.
Science News Round-Up: Something for Everyone
People who have suffered life’s hard knocks while growing up tend to be more gullible than those who have been more sheltered. No wonder I’m so gullible, I was raised by wolverines in the Gobi Desert who ate the baby that I conceived with Elvis when I was 13…
Vegans are five times less likely to concieve twins than non-vegans. Of course due to the consumption of hormones in dairy. I am torn between my desire to have twins and my despise of the goddamn chemicals that are being pumped into my system due to my love of cheese.
Snow pack on mountain tops will be drastically diminished by the end of the century, causing major water resource issues for the affected populations. Time to start mining ice on Mars!
Schizophrenia limits understanding of body language. But no one can misinterpret the language of rock! \m/
Young America’s political views are negatively affected by the Daily Show. Wow, you mean we're not depressed by the fact that this country is run by two political parties that are both so ridiculous that comedians barely even have to try to make them funny?
Robots can be used to interact with, communicate with and control roaches. Now the only things left on this planet after the shit hits the fan are roaches, AND the tiny robots that we use to control them!
